This weekend, I had a very interesting and a bit frustrating experience with Rupert. And since Rupert and Raoul (same as the previous postings) are often together, when I have an experience with Rupert, it tends to be the case with Raoul as well.
On Friday, I was asked to go clubbing with these two, because Rupert cannot stand going clubbing with a mutual friend that they met (while clubbing). Let's call this friend Ronald. Ronald is also in the armed forces, and apparently doesn't like Rupert, because Ronald believes that he should be with Raoul and not Rupert. Ronald believes that Rupert would be happier with him and not Rupert, etc., etc., so there's all this drama going on about wedging oneself into a relationship. And Rupert's words were, "Please don't make me spend the entire evening with him... I'm going to die."
So, during the course of the evening, Raoul asked me if I wanted to go and dance upstairs with him... I said, "Sure." I just thought he wanted to cool off upstairs. Apparently, he had an ulterior motive... He wanted to get me away from the crowd so that he can "have a talk with me". We started off with how many dates we had... And the number here differs, because our definitions of dates were different. For me, an outing is a date if there is follow through with romantic ties... And since I was "dumped" in the middle of a cafe in the village, there are no romantic ties, and thus, Raoul and I did not go on dates... For him, however, a date is just an opportunity to gage to see if there is any chemistry... We decided on two dates... And there was this whole talk about how we have a lot in common, blah blah blah...
Then, Raoul asks me if I believe that Rupert loves him. What am I, a psychiatrist? How am I supposed to know? I haven't even experienced real romance myself, what makes me the expert to answer this question? And this led into a discussion about how Raoul knows that I do not like Rupert, and that he doesn't know what I'm thinking. (He's not supposed to, I have a little world that I don't let him into). Anyway, I told him in that in all fairness, when I have my relationship, I would not model it after his. That's a fair statement, I think, without having to put too many people down... And Raoul told me that, "he knows that it's not a perfect relationship, but he wouldn't be able to do it without my friendship..." What the hell is that? If you need a third person to help you, then obviously this is not the right guy?
Also, Raoul and Rupert were talking about going to Ottawa on Saturday. They were thinking of taking a day trip up to Ottawa, from about 12 p.m. - 12 a.m.. Now, since I had to work on Sunday, I thought that 12 - 12 was a bit on the late side... So I asked if it was possible to leave earlier... At that particular moment, Rupert wrinkles his face up like he's eaten a sour lemon... His eyes, nose and mouth all wrinkled together like a badly presented plate of greasy spoon breakfast - sausages, eggs over easy and fruit... (Did I mention that Rupert has sausage lips?), and he looked like his face was going into warp drive about leaving at 10 a.m.. So we decided to leave at 12 noon.
And then to make matters even worse, I get a phone call at 11:40 a.m. on Saturday saying that Rupert has to take his sister and brother to go swimming at the community pool, and that Rupert couldn't say no to his mother... So, after doing a bit of projection, it pretty much boiled down to them being done at about 5:00 p.m. on Saturday, which means that there is practically no point in going to Ottawa. I was really looking forward to going to Ottawa, because I wanted to see my friend whom I haven't seen for about nine months. And I thought that since those two were going to Ottawa, I would hitch a ride up with them. But no, that was not to be. I was really, really disappointed not being able to see my friend... I mean, she might not have had time for me anyway, but at least if I got to Ottawa, I did my part and I tried.
As my brother humorously said, "I think you need a circle of friends... You're in the black ring (of the Olympics) for friends... Why not try the green ring?" I think he's right... I think I'll be spending less time (or if at all) with those two, and more time with my other friends... I do not have to be the emotional "crutch" of the relationship. If Raoul wanted my emotional energy, then he should have launched into a relationship with me.
Labels: dating, gay drama, life, rants, relationships