radoboist's journey in the world (of love, of studies, of whatever...)

A look into how a hopeless romantic copes with what life throws at him... Regardless if it is romance related or not...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Jeunesse Lambda and sandbox politics

Today, Friday, October 21, 2006, was the AGM of Jeunesse Lambda (Lambda Youth), where they present the annual report, and new members of the Executive are elected. I went to the meeting in good spirits, with the intention of running for, and hopefully getting the position of Responsable des animations.

At first, I was nominated as treasurer. I wasn't really interested in this position, since I was thinking that it was a boring job. But I thought, since I wasn't guaranteed the other position, I should try and run for this, and maybe if no one ran against me, then I would have gotten it. There were three candidates that ran for this position, including me, and the other two were Sébastien and Francis M.. We all gave our speeches, and we had the vote... Then, the result was that Francis M. won the position. Francis M., being young, and good looking, got the position. This was tough, but I wasn't discouraged, because I really wanted to be responsable des animations, so I was remaining positive. I knew what speech I wanted to give, to sell myself to the voters about this position. And I thought I gave a damn good speech. There were three people who ran for this position (including me). Sébastien, André Ho, and me. At first, I thought. Oh crap, if André Ho is running, then there was no way in hell I would win, because André is very well known, and very popular, so I expected that he would win by a landslide. However, he was unavailable this evening, as he had to work. So, he only had a letter. The elections took place, and according to the person who was chairing the meeting, the winner won by one vote. And it was, Sébastien. I was very surprised at this. I would like to think that I am the person who came second, who lost by one vote, but I believe I came in third. Surprise, again, the public has voted for someone who was young, white and looked good.

I was then nominated for the position of administrateur libre. This position, again, I was not ready for, but I gave a speech anyway. I told the voting public that they have already seen me here twice, and they know my ideas. I said that perhaps my film night idea could work with the responsable des animations, and I would work with him if I were elected as administrateur libre. There were five people who ran for this position (including me). Maryse, Michel, Michaël, Flavio and me. And they had the vote, and the two winners were Maryse and Michel. Maryse, she was already administratrice libre, so it was not suprising that she got re-elected. And then Michel got elected. Again, Michel is white, and a good looking guy. Hmm... I think I see a pattern here... You have to be good looking to get elected. The only exception was for the position of responsable de communication, where Michel and Sergio both got nominated, and Sergio kicked ass with his speech, and thus, won by a landslide.

Why do I get this feeling I've seen this before? Oh yes, when I ran for VP External with CESA in my third year of university! I was the only one that ran with a serious campaign, who did the work to find all classes that had people who could vote for me, and ran a campaign. I came in third. The candidate who ran with a campaign of jokes received more votes than me. So, this was sandbox politics, as I was told. And now, I believe that Jeunesse Lambda is also sandbox politics.

And I know that I should not take this personally, as was suggested by the host of the meeting. He said that just because you're not elected, it doesn't mean that people don't like you, so don't take it personal. Well, I disagree, if you're not elected, there were enough people (a majority, even), who believe that either you cannot do the job that is required, or who don't plain like you enough to vote for you. With a circumstance like that, how can you not take it personal? I ran three times, and I lost three times. I had to stand in front of the crowd three times, to try and sell myself. And the killer is, the outgoing VP and the incoming President said that just because you're not elected, don't despair because this organization needs you. Sort of a "let's make you feel better speech." And they both gave me a hug tonight, since they understand the stress and the disappointment of running three times, and not being elected three times, within a time span of about 30 - 40 minutes. This is not like a Federal, Provincial or Municipal meeting where you run for the same position over a period of 12 years, and are still not elected. And perhaps I am glad that I didn't get the position of administrateur libre, because if I did, it would have been pity votes. And I am glad that I didn't get pity votes. Sure, my pride is hurt, but I will survive, and move on from this experience. I was thinking of going to the Hallowe'en party next week, but I am thinking I'll need a break from this superficial, sandbox politics group, so I'd rather just stay in or go to some other party. At least I wouldn't have to dress up. It's not like i) I have a costume that's kick ass enough to win a prize, and frankly, I don't really want to win one, and I assume that I wouldn't get enough support anyway to win; ii) Even if I did have a kick-ass costume, I wouldn't get enough support to win; iii) I have lost faith in this group. Just like how I have lost faith in CESA (Concurrent Education Students' Assocation after coming third for the position of VP - External, especially when someone who ran on a campaign of jokes won more votes than me) and iv) I need a break for at least a week from this group. Maybe that could change, as I feel better during the week, but I don't know.

And in regards to getting involved with the group. Frankly, I do not believe I want to. It's not a matter of power, that I wanted an adminstrator position. It's the fact that I ran three times, and lost three times. So, if an organization does not want me to help, I will simply invest my ideas and energy into another organization who would want me, my ideas, who would want to profit from them.

And after, I decided that going to bubble tea with Flavio would make me feel better. Apparently that was not the case. He likes Gabriel. He likes some other person, but not me. So, we spent time talking about how we've both had bad experiences with me, but at least he's got hopes on the horizon. It would have been less painful to watch paint dry. Well, maybe less sad... Right now, I'm listening to my diva, Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive, but I just want to crawl into bed and cry. My pride is hurt, I'm sad about not being elected, for three times in a row, and I feel like I'll never find my man.

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