Another door shuts...

Today, I got an e-mail from Babel Media, telling me that I was unsuccessful in the position of functionality tester (bug finder) in video games. I was told that I did not pass the test.

So, another door comes slamming shut. I wasn't also banking on this, but I didn't think that there were so many things in functionality testing that you could fail a hands-on test.

And now, we continue our quest of trying to find a summer/part-time job. I saw that the Second Cup at Gare Centrale and the newspaper store are hiring people. I'll drop off my CV to those two places...

I feel a bit bummed... How can you fail a functionality tester practical exam? Well, I did it... So it must have not been difficult to fail... Really difficult to pass.

Out of the closet...

So, Roman's boyfriend has come out of the closet... I don't know whether or not this was his decision, or if Roman pushed him out of the closet. I find it very peculiar that someone who is confused about his sexuality can have it become crystal clear in about three weeks. I mean, it took me two years before I came out to myself and admitted it to myself that I was gay. Also, Roman was there, when Patrick told his father about him being gay.

If indeed it was Patrick who felt that he needed to tell his father, then good for him. It's great that he is comfortable enough to come out of the closet. However, if it was Roman who forced him out of the closet. All I can say is: "Shame." How can you force someone to come out of the closet? This seems highly suspicious, reeks of self-benefit for Roman.

Anyway, since I do not know the entire story, and details, all I can say is that regardless of motive, he's now out. And I hope that his experience will be less difficult than mine. However, if this outing was forced by Roman, then it would definitely put a strain on the relationship, amongst other things.

Wow, what a day...

Today has been just wave after wave of bad or unpleasant news. Okay, so maybe not wave after wave, but enough to get me a bit sad.

First, I went to the Indian buffet. However, the food today was a little bit disappointing. My favourite, the Cauliflower Masala was way too sour for my liking, since it tasted like tomato and cauliflower pasta.

Secondly, I went to Canadian Tire, because I needed to buy more vacuum bags. I get into the store, and the vacuum I bought about a month and a half ago has now decreased in price by $30. I nearly had a heart attack on the spot in the store. Since I work out regularly, such a shock did not cause me to have a heart attack, and therefore, I was fine.

Thirdly, on my way home, I discovered that the Quizno's underneath my building, is having its employee training, as it's opening Friday. This clearly tells me that my interview did not go well, when I had an interview about a month ago. Either that, or I was too qualified, which is quite possible, but I somehow doubt it. What type of qualifications does one need to put together a submarine sandwich?

Now, I'm afraid to call back to the functionality testing job, since I may get a negative response. However, since three bad things already happened (and bad things apparently happen in threes), perhaps it'll change.

I have been told that "God doesn't close a door without opening a window." Though I am not Christian, I believe that fate works in a similar fashion. So, the Quizno's door is shut, but another window, perhaps a better one has opened. Thus, I just have to be patient.

Also, I am quite happy that apparently, I have people who follow my blog. I didn't know that, I just bitch about being single and being attracted to the wrong types of men, etc. But today, I got a really nice comment, with a recommendation for a book: Against Love: A Polemic, by Laura Kipnis. I will look into buying or borrowing this book. Thanks for the suggestion.

District B13 (Banlieue B13)

Today, I went to see the movie District B13, or Banlieue 13 in French. This is a science fiction mixed with action flick that was filmed in France.

There are two main characters: Leïto and Damien. The former is a thug who was born in District B13, but respects the law, and tries to follow the law even though most people around him and in his neighbourhood does not. The latter is a cop. He's your clean cop, very rigid, not flexible. The two actors who were cast for these roles were very good looking. In fact, the person who plays Damien looks a bit like Jason Statham, and when you look at his filmography, he has been in both Transporter movies, so it is quite possible that he is Jason Statham's double for certain shots in those movies.

The premise of the story is that in the year 2010, the city of Paris has built a humongous wall around District B13, because crime and corruption has risen to unacceptable levels in that particular District. There is lots of turf wars going on in there. This movie, I would say, is more action than it is science fiction. The stunts were incredible, and it felt like a mixture of Transporter and Ong-Bak.

I won't spoil the movie here, but the only weak point of the movie is the storyline. But then, you don't go to action flicks for the story.

Oh yes, and the two main characters are hot. Too bad imdb doesn't have pictures of them.

Roman's birthday

Today, June 24, 2006, was St. Jean Baptiste day in Quebec, but as well, it was also Roman's birthday.

So, Roman invited me to spend the day at La Ronde with him and Patrick.

I had a good day today, I discovered that my season's pass was less than $99.99, and as well, I spent less money than I thought I was going to. I didn't pay for a majority of the games (water balloon shoot, ball toss, etc.), and I didn't pay for dinner. Patrick was nice enough to pay for a majority of it, which I thought was nice, since I really don't know him too well, and I don't know if he's aware of my history with Roman. (Well, I don't really have one, but I did once want more than just friendship with his pumpkin)

Rolo ice-cream cake was also my best friend at Boston Pizza today, since Patrick and Roman were kind of being intimate with each other (Roman had his hand over Patrick and vice-versa), and I was thinking, "I'm just going to concentrate on my ice-cream cake, Mmm... Rolo ice-cream cake is so yummy."

I finally discovered the reason (well, what I believe anyway) why it didn't work. Roman tends to like Latino men (no matter if they're good looking, or not so good looking), and he tends to like men who are shorter than him. Since I am taller, and not Latino (both things I cannot help), I did not stand a chance with him.

But I am happy for him, because Patrick seems to treat Roman with respect, at least from what I saw today. However, I sense that Patrick, if he indeed comes to terms with his sexuality, will be high maintenance. Oh well, you live and learn.

Also, I find some things a bit disturbing. For example, Patrick bought Roman a ring, which he wears on his thumb, and Roman bought (or will give) a watch to Patrick. They each have an Air Miles card, call each other sweetheart, pumpkin and other such terms of endearment, as well as start sharing their stuff: (i.e. it's not my collection, but our collection). I believe this is going way too fast, but hey... Who am I to judge? I have never had a relationship myself. I am no expert.

La Ronde was fun, and I look forward to going back soon. Since I have a season's pass, I have free admission until when they close this season. Also... The only money that I would spend would be: The $13 for the Access-rapide (VIP pass <-- which allows you to skip the long line-up), and money for food, and possibly some sort of drink, if I choose to buy some drinks. I also may have to spend some money on games (skee ball, ball toss etc.)

I also got home to about five messages on my machine. One from Claude, two from Jean. And since one of them dropped this serious conversation on me on Thursday, like a ton of bricks, and the other one is very busy (not his fault) with work and rest... I feel how Willa is feeling about men in her song: A Toast to Men.

Girls, I'd like to make a toast on behalf of men...
Here's to the men we love,
Here's to the men who love us,
Here's to the men we love, who don't love us.
F**k the men, let's drink to us!

Here's to the men we love to love,
Here's to the men in love with us,
Here's to the men who pass on us:
F**k the men, let's drink the us!

I believe that these lyrics can be applied to gurls (Gay guys who are looking for romance and stability, who don't hit on and screw anything that moves and walks around on two legs)

A serious/rough conversation that has me wondering...

Yesterday, Claude and I went to a teahouse. It was a very nice atmosphere, and offered a wide variety of teas from China, Taiwan, Japan, India, etc.

However, about ten minutes into the conversation, he brought out the serious talk. You know, the one about how I've known him for three weeks, and where this is heading? Anyway, I realize it's the way that he is, but after having this talk, I'm starting to doubt/wonder whether it's going to work. I'd like it to, but right now, it seems to me that there is uncertainty in his mind. This then also causes uncertainty in my mind.

I also had an interview as a functionality tester yesterday. I think it went okay? I don't really know. I found four bugs, and I filled out the bug report to the best of my ability. The interviewer told me that they would be evaluating the test either yesterday or today, and that they would get in touch with me in a few days. So, we'll see.

The Lake House

Today, I went to see The Lake House, featuring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves.

This was a sweet movie, as well, it was one where there was not a lot of action, it was dramatic, and romantic, and a plausible storyline. I really enjoyed it.

The premise of the story is the following: Sandra Bullock's character leaves her lake house, and leaves a letter in the mailbox for the new tenant, but for some odd reason, her letter gets sent to Keanu Reeve's character, who lives in the same location, but two years before her. This story is their love growing over time, and then a conclusion of this love, whether sad, or happy.

In my opinion, this would be a perfect date movie, but don't bring one who gabs, because that would just ruin the whole movie for you, and/or for everyone around you. Bring a date who understands movies, or holds it in, and asks questions at the end of the movie.

As demonstrated, there was a couple above me who practically chatted through the entire movie. First, the girl kicks my chair, and then she moves with her boyfriend, and basically chats through the previews, as well as the beginning part of the movie. I don't get it. If you want to chitter through the movie, why not just wait for the DVD, and then you can chat to your heart's content about crap? It'd be cheaper too. I mean, even though it was cheap night at AMC tonight ($8), to rent a movie, and then chat through it would only be about $4.99 (or less), and you can watch the movie several times, and chat through it, so you get more value for your money.

I'd like to bring Claude to this movie. But he's very busy, and not a big movie person.

Finally! I'm so happy

Tonight, Roman and I went to see Da Vinci Code. It was my second time, and it was his first time. I liked the movie again, but Roman didn't. Oh well.

However, I'm very glad that I was able to do the Love Heart non-stop (standard step) with no breaks in the combo... For me, it was a 1068 combo! I hit nothing lower than a great, except for the freezes. I finally did it. After this happened, I was so excited, I actually shouted, "Woooo!" in the theatre.

After the movie, we went to get some food, and then we went to a Second Cup and got some tea. (I paid for his tea, as a treat). And we had some conversation. He was asking me about my romantic interests, and he was telling me about how his romantic interest is having difficulty dealing with his sexuality, and that they are getting too close at work, so other co-workers are or may be suspecting. Roman's biggest fear is that his guy will end up not being gay, and not being able to date him, since he can't handle the gay lifestyle. I was diplomatic, and I told Roman that he had to be aware that this was a possibility. You can't force him to come out of the closet, he has to do it when he is comfortable with himself.

I also had a good morning and early afternoon with Claude. That was nice.

Wow, I'm amazed, but not surprised, I guess

Roman and I had a talk today, since I felt like I was used yesterday. He explained to me that he didn't know that Guillarmo would be there, and that his intention was not to use me to make himself feel more comfortable, but to enjoy myself before Chim left the country.

I also talked to him, and he told me that he is going out with his friend Patrick, someone who works with him at Reno Depot, who is confused about his sexuality.

Dating, or attempting to date someone who is not out of the closet is like dating (or attempting to date) someone who is recently out of the closet. Both of these types of people don't know what they want. However, with people who are recently out of the closet, at least they are out, and they won't deny their sexuality. That's the tough part with people who are still in the closet.

Who knows, maybe Patrick will decide that they could only be very good friends, and not boyfriends. But if that happens, there's the rub...

I feel so used... [Good bye Chim]

Thursday, June 15, 2006 at 10:00 p.m., I went to meet a friend who was going to be leaving Canada for a while. Now, the original plan was to go to Parking, a club, and since I did not want to go clubbing, I thought that I could go, say good-bye, and then go home. (It was Roman who told me about this get together)

My friend, whom I met through speed dating, is leaving Canada, and he wants to come back to Montreal via immigration, but he isn't sure that it will work. So, I take this opportunity to bid him good-bye, and hope that I will be able to see him one day.

When everyone finally arrived, we went to l'Utopik, his favourite cafe, and then after we were supposed to go to Parking. However, Roman suggested we go to Club Date, where we could sing karaoke. I liked this idea, so I tagged along. We spent some time there, and Roman and his friend Patrick (whom he brought along) left early. Then, Chim sang his song, I sang my song, and Guillarmo sent his song. We left Club Date. Chim then wanted to go to Parking, and since I really didn't feel like dancing, I walked along the road to hop on a night bus.

Last time I was with Roman, we had a heart-to-heart, and he is still hurting over his first experience, Guillarmo. I feel a bit used, since I feel that he wanted me to tag along, so that he can see Chim one last time, but have me there, so that he doesn't have to deal with Guillarmo too much. In fact, Guillarmo didn't talk to Roman that much at all, which is a bit bitchy, since apparently Guillarmo and Roman spent a night together after the skating at Parc Lafontaine.

Anyway, I also had the pleasure, or perhaps displeasure, of meeting Omar, who was the very unfriendly drag queen that Roman and I went to see for some fundraiser that he dragged me to.

A Prairie Home Companion

Today, I went to see the film A Prairie Home Companion, a film where Lindsay Lohan doesn't play some sort of teenage princess.

It was a weird film. I mean, the music was good, and even though I'm not usually a fan of western music, it was good. However, the storyline was bizarre. Now, there was nothing bizarre about this live radio show that people can also go watch in the audience, and how it was their last show, since some company big shot (Tommy Lee Jones) was going to axe the radio show. There was also this woman with a white trench coat, who turned out to be an angel. However, when you add these superficial parts to the movie, it makes it difficult to understand.

Anyway, Lindsay Lohan sings a song, that is not in her usual style.

I also nearly tripped over my own recycables today, since the person who is responsible for cleaning it decided to make me throw my paper into the garbage chute.

Wow, a heart to heart...

Tonight, Roman wanted to return some stuff to someone, and he asked me to come along, since he would feel more comfortable if I were there. It turned out that we went to Le Drugstore and spent some time there.

After the friend left, Roman and I grabbed another pitcher, and we had a heart-to-heart. It appears that Roman is still infatuated/in love with his first love, whom he spent the night with when there was the speed skating during Reading week.

However, this guy treats him like shit. But Roman told me that he'd be ready to do anything to have him back, and he asks everyone he knows to give him advice on how he can win him back. He also asked me how I'm feeling about him. And since I now am concentrating on Jean and Claude, I have completely given up on him. And I told him that since he told me that he only wanted to be friends, and that he drew the line this firmly in the sand, then I acknowledge that, and I react accordingly. He told me that he noticed that, and he also told me that I'm his best friend. That's reassuring to know, I guess.

Anyway... He's continuing with his life, and he told me that he's happy that it's possible that I have someone in my life. He's also happy that there's hope for me, since I tend to feel like Quasimodo from Notre Dame de Paris. That's good. We'll see how it continues. So, perhaps my theory of him regretting his decision will not happen. I guess only time will tell.

Palais Royal!

Last night, on June 7, 2006, I went to see the French comedy, Palais Royal! starring Lambert Wilson, Catherine Deneuve and Valérie Lemercier.

It was also Valérie Lemercier who wrote and directed the movie, so in a way, you can say it's a vanity piece.

The movie is based upon a royal family in a fictitious European nation, where Catherine Deneuve is the queen, whose husband has died in a helicopter accident. So, she picks Lambert Wilson's character, who is the younger son, to be the heir to the throne, since she uses a technicality that his eldest son isn't married. However, it is clear in the film that the younger son is her favourite, which is the reason why he was heir to the throne.

However, there is this major scandal where Valérie Lemercier's character discovers that her husband (Wilson) is cheating on her, so she comes up with this plan to get back at him and the royal family. This comedy is sort of similar to spoofing the Royal family in England, and in fact, they make fun of being in England a bit, since they do some shopping.

Lemercier's character takes on a role that is very similar to Princess Di's role. The humanitarian princess, who also has a love affair out of the marriage.

This movie was funny, and I liked it. I did find it difficult sometimes, because the humour was very francophone. But I did get most of the jokes. It was also enjoyable that I saw the movie with Claude. After the movie, we went back to his place, and had some cake, which he bought from a really nice bakery that is close to his house. The cake was a chocolate layer cake, with a small layer of lemon, it was delicious, but a bit heavy. Claude is a very nice guy, smart, handsome, caring, etc.

This is where I suppose I say to Roman, "It's too late now... I won't look back." (And launch into Willa Ford's song - Did Ya' Understand That?"

Hearing loss, anyone?

Today, while I was riding the metro back to my house on the orange line, someone got on the metro and had the music on so loud, that I could hear it. Now, this is not a big deal, if the person got on the set of doors where it was close to wear I was sitting, but the fact is, this person who got on was at the other end of the wagon. I sat at one end, and he got on the other end. (It was all men in the wagon).

Now, I learned at Jeunesse lambda two weeks ago that listening to headphones too loud can damage your hearing. And the person who was a hearing expert, and an expert on how the ear works stated that the device should not be more than 40% loud. If I can hear it at the end of the wagon, I think it's a wee bit too loud.

I got home, and there was a message from Roman. He wanted to do something tonight, but I didn't get his message until late, and by the time I called him back, he was already at Côte-Vertu metro station. So, I decided that he should just go home, since I didn't want to make him come all the way back downtown just to do something. I asked him how the ceremony went yesterday, and he said it was very good. He got to shake the Prime Minister (Stephen Harper)'s hand. (shudder). He also got this certificate that he wanted to show me, for what reason, I don't know.

Roman wants to do something on Monday night, since he's working from 12 - 9 on Tuesday night, he can't watch a cheap movie at AMC. And if he wants to do something on Wednesday, tough bananas, since I'm doing something with Claude.

Perhaps in the words of Willa Ford: "I don't want you... I don't need you... So let me tell you where it's at... I'm through with you... Did 'ya understand that?" I don't know.

An evening with Claude...

Tonight, I went to a concert with Claude. Claude is the guy whom I met last night at Jeunesse lambda, who is a good friend of someone there. This was the same guy who had a poutine with me last night, and then we walked together to Berri-UQAM station.

He had told me about a concert that he was going to last night, and then this morning, he sent me an e-mail to check/verify the address. I sent an e-mail back to let him know that he was correct, and that he had woken up early. He ended up calling me around 11:00 a.m.. He told me that the concert that he was going to tonight, they sold tickets at the door, and asked if I wanted to go. Now, since this was a classical concert, and I was under the impression that Bach and Chopin would be playing (it turned out to be Mozart and Schubert), I went. Claude arrived a bit early, so I got ready quickly, and then we walked over to the church where the concert was.

After the concert, we went to a Second Cup, and we chatted for about an hour or so. Claude likes to make jokes (sometimes crude ones, with sexual references), and then I end up blushing or laughing. We left around 11:30 p.m., and before we parted ways, we thought about perhaps a time where we can get together and do something. We could be doing something Wednesday night, we'll see...

Claude was asking me a question, "what do those eyes mean, what do those eyes mean?" And I asked him back, "What do those eyes mean?" I don't really know. I mean, he's a nice guy, he's handsome, but I can't really tell what's going on... We also had a discussion about relationships and boyfriends, it turns out that Claude has only had one boyfriend, and he's a bit of an introvert. And he asked me how many boyfriends I have had, and I replied, "One less than you."

Claude is a really intelligent, math expert. In fact, he speaks of math that I have no idea about, sometimes... And when he speaks about math, he gets really excited, and starts talking a lot louder... And I can understand that, since I get excited too about mathematics, but his sophistication is so much more than mine, I am not at that level yet, and I can't appreciate it yet.

An afternoon with Mika (aka Mia, Aki, Ika)

Today, I had the opportunity to have lunch with my friend Mika, whom I haven't seen for four years, since she went on an exchange in France at the end of her second year.

It was good to catch up, and chat about boy troubles. I told her about mine, she told me about hers, we had a good time, even though it was a short time that we spent together. She got into town at 11:42 p.m. (time on VIA board), and we had lunch. She needed to get on the train de banlieue at 2:30 p.m., so that didn't give us too much time, but enough so that we get to have lunch and chat.

Mika hasn't changed a bit, and I missed her incredible sense of humour. When I told her about my situation with Roman, she was sympathetic, and as well, when I told her about Roman's desire to be in the army, and how his father died, she said, "Wow, with that kind of luck, you still want to go to the army? I would be at a Provigo. Hello, welcome to Provigo."

I hope that Mika and her friend Marriat will be in Montreal again soon to do some shopping, if so, I want to be able to have dinner wtih them.

At the train station, Mika and I joked about possibilities of names, and how we can find new names for her by just rearranging some letters. The best one was Mia, and some awful ones we came up with were Aki, and Ika. Or Grace, but then she felt like she was 45.

Good bye, Leo...

Today was the last day that a friend of mine - Leo, who lives in Brazil, was in Montreal. He took a flight at 7:00 p.m. today to go back to Brazil. He was only here in Montreal to study French for a semester. I hope I get his e-mail (Roman said he'll give it to me), and we can stay in touch via e-mail.

I got a call from Roman today, at around 11:00 a.m., asking if I can go and meet Leo in half an hour. Unfortunately, I had to teach an aerobics class from 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m., so I couldn't. What I ended up doing was meeting Roman at the gym at 1:00 p.m., and then figuring out a plan to spend some time together after.

The plan turned out to be meeting under my building at 2:00 p.m., and then going for some food. We went to Prêt à Manger, where we both ordered two lunch specials. He ordered the Orange beef with rice, and I ordered the red curry chicken with rice. I also got a bug with my food, so I sent it back to the kitchen to recook it, and I actually lost a lot of my appetite. I did have my plate of food, but I think I would have enjoyed it more if there wasn't a bug, not to mention I wouldn't have wasted the food.

After, Roman told me that he needed a suit for tomorrow's inauguration. So, we went to the Bay and we shopped for his suit. And for the first half to two-thirds of the time, it was me who was making the choices, and then the sales people at Bay also chimed in to help... Now, the sales people I can understand, because it's their job, and they're paid to do so (along with commission, possibly). However, again, why am I dressing him? He's not my boyfriend... His boyfriend (even though he may not have one) should be dressing him...

The pants of the suit turned out to be a little long for Roman, so he needed to get them hemmed at the Bay for no extra charge. At first, the tailor could get the pants hemmed for Saturday afternoon, but Roman insisted that he had a ceremony to go to, and that he needed this suit for tomorrow. So, the sales person was able to talk to the tailor, and get him/her to do it in twenty minutes. In this time, we went to get a bubble tea. I had a Lychee bubble tea, and he had a iced coffee (with no bubbles), which ended up being an iced cap, or similar to an ice cap. We picked up his suit, he bought some flowers for his mother on the way home, and then we hugged, he went on the metro, and I got ready for Jeunesse Lambda.

Tonight at Lambda, we had a discussion on taboo topics. It was me and another facilitator who were leading the discussion. We planned to talk about pornography, prostitution, drugs, masturbation and fetishes, but we only talked about pornography, masturbation and a bit of fetishes. It was overall a good discussion, and I went to group in a leather jacket (biker style) and leather pants, to illustrate a leather fetish.

At Jeunesse lambda, I met a guy whose name is Claude. He's francophone, but he's done a lot of his university studies in English, so he's practically bilingual. He's a nice guy, very intelligent, and not one of those high maintenance guys you see in the village. After lambda, we went to a restaurant, where he had a soup, and I had a poutine. After, we checked the Second Cup Terrace, which was the place that supposedly people from Jeunesse lambda were supposed to go, but found that no one from Jeunesse lambda was there, so we left. We walked together to the Berri-UQAM metro station, since he needed to take the orange line, and I needed to take the green line. Before we said goodbye to each other for the evening, he invited me to go to his house, an invitation that I declined, because I was a bit tired, and he told me that he was tired too. However, I told him that I would consider it another time.

Could this Claude be promising? He seems to be, but I don't know yet... Let's just hope it's not another Roman incident.