Damn university students

I was really looking forward to buying my new computer today. However, to my dismay, when I got to the Apple store, I discovered that the model that I want has been sold out.

I was informed that some will be delivered next week...

Why do university students always wait until the last minute to get their act together and buy the shit that they need? I had to wait because I wasn't too sure if I had a job or not... But if you're a student, you have student loans. If you're really lucky, you have mommy and daddy paying for the computer for you.

Asswipes, I swear.

Another Dream...

This morning, I had another dream with regards to relationships. This time around, I was being spoiled and cherished by a guy whom looked like a guy that I find attractive at the Japanese mahjongg club in Montreal. In my dream, this guy, whom we shall call Paul for sake of making things easier to understand, I were having fun in an open field somewhere... Field of green grass. We were just enjoying ourselves. Paul was throwing me into the air, etc. Finally, he kisses me on the cheeks and asks me, "I'm going to see a house today. Want to come with me?"

I replied yes, and that's when I woke up. :(

Now, I knew this was a dream because 1) I woke up, and 2) Paul in real life is straight. lol Yes, there I go again, lusting after straight men.

I Had a Dream...

I had a dream this morning, but no song to sing... To follow the classic ABBA song.

I dreamt that a colleague in my program, who is also gay, came to me in my dream and told me that he would leave me his number when he's ready to have coffee with me, because he had just been dumped by his boyfriend. In my dream, the assumption was that he thought that I was the cat's pyjamas and he wanted to have coffee with me when he was ready for a relationship, and respected me enough to acknowledge that I'm the rebound.

Too bad it was a dream. * Sigh * But such is life...

New job!

My transformation from a student to a professional has been solidified. Today, I was hired to teach at Pierrefonds Comprehensive High School with the Lester B. Pearson School Board.

I will be teaching Sec IV (Grade 10) Science and Mathematics. That'll be a challenge, but it'll be fun.

Mamma Mia! (Official movie)

On Tuesday, August 19, 2008, I went to see the movie Mamma Mia!

This is a movie based on the musical Mamma Mia! that features the music of ABBA.

Thoroughly enjoyable movie. If you're into musicals and ABBA music. If not, this movie is not for you.

The story starts off with Sophie, who stumbles across her mother's diary. Sophie is twenty years old, and has known who her real father is. Through her mother's diary, she is able to find out three names, so she invites all of them to her wedding, hoping that she would recognize her father right away, and be able to single him out so that she can ask him to give her away.

Anyway, this fun journey involves twists and turns and lots of fun ABBA singing. Granted of course, there were some members of the cast who were hired for marquee value, and there might have been better choices.

Usually an enjoyable movie. Unless you were dumped the day before... I was bawling my eyes out... I nearly lost it at the end of Our Last Summer, and I lost it in Slipping Through My Fingers and the Winner Takes It All. Let me explain.

The lyrics of Our Last Summer:

[...] I was so happy that we had met, it was the age of no regret...

At the end [...] Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain, our last summer, memories that remain.

I was happy that I met Orion. I thought it was the age of no regret... Since this was a summer romance, at the present moment, there are some (painful) memories that remain.

The lyrics of Slipping Through My Fingers:

[...] I wish that I could freeze the picture, to save it from the funny tricks of time.

Granted of course, this use here is about aging, but in my case, if I could freeze the picture, maybe it would have lasted... I know, a bit naive, but whatever.

And Winner Takes It All:

I don't want to talk, about things we gone through.
Though it's hurting me, now it's history.
I've played all my cards, and that's what you done too...
Nothing left to say, no more ace to play...

The winner takes it all, the loser's standing small.
Beside the victory, that's her destiny.

I was in your arms, thinking I belonged there.
I figured it made sense, building me a fence.
Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there.
But I was a fool, playing by the rules...

The Gods may throw a dice, their minds as cold as ice.
In someone way down here, loses someone dear.

The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall.
It's simple and it's plain, why should I complain?

Now tell me does she kiss, like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same, when she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside, you must know I miss you.
But what can I say? Rules must be obeyed.

The judges will decide, the likes of me abide
Spectators of the show, always staying low.
The game is on again, a lover or a friend?
A big thing or a small, the winner takes it all.

I don't wanna talk, if it makes me feel sad.
And I understand, you've come to shake my hand.
I apologize, if it makes you feel bad.
Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence.

But you see, the winner takes it all...

So the winner, takes it all...
And the loser, has to fall...
Throw a dice, cold as ice...
Way down there, someone dear...
Takes it all, has to fall...

Let me explain what I believe the situation was. When I first me Orion for coffee in early April, I thought I was the only one on the horizon. I had also recently been burned by a guy, so I wanted to take things slow. All of a sudden, Orion goes for coffee with Brian. Apparently, Orion had melt Brian before hand, but Brian had never made time for Orion. It was not until I appeared onto the scene that Brian decided to make time to see Orion.

And the end outcome, Orion feels more of a connection with Brian.

So, the winner = Brian takes it all. The loser = me is standing small.

I laid out my cards yesterday (Monday, August 18, 2008), and so did Orion.
Nothing left to say, no more ace to play.

Same questions about the kissing and the name calling can be asked, but I don't think I have actually called Orion by name. There has been no need.

The only part that is not true is the lack of self-confidence. I have to say that my self-confidence is a little bit shattered, but I still have lots of it.

I also played by the rules, at least I believe I did. But I also know that all is fair in love.

It happens again...

So, I had a talk with Orion about Brian. The long and short is, I got dumped. Apparently, Orion felt a stronger connection with Brian. There's nothing I can do about that. Orion has assured me that I will find someone, but I'm not so sure anymore.

This continues yet another journey of failed romance attempts in my life. I must be like the saddest fitness instructor ever... I don't know of any other fitness instructors who have been dumped as many times as I have or who aren't in relationships.

Also, how come people like Raoul and Rupert can have a relationship? Who don't take things seriously, at least in my opinion, who have so many issues and drama and the like?

Why am I like the leper whom no one finds attractive? Will I ever find my knight in shining armour?

I'll be needing my friends. I guess there was some truth in the Tarot reading... I've fallen, really hard, and now, my friends will help me get through it. Perhaps even, the stream will flow and I will find someone as well. There's the hope, anyway.

Here we go again...

Looks like my luck with gay men is still rotten.

About six months ago, I met this individual, whom we shall call Orion (name changed to protect privacy). Orion has a boyfriend in Thailand, but I thought that since the Thai boyfriend isn't moving here, and Orion isn't going to Thailand, that relationship isn't going to really materialize.

Now, I understand that we originally started as friends with privileges. I knew that. I knew that I wasn't the only one that he was seeing. Around the same time, he also met this other individual, whom we shall call Brian. He met Brian and me off the same website that we put a profile up on.

I originally wanted to have the relationship/going steady talk with Orion, because over the past four or five months, I've fallen for him, I guess. I find that we have great conversation. We have more things in common than just sex. I originally wanted to have this talk with him at the end of September/beginning of October, because that would be about six months. However, after what happened tonight, I suppose it's a good time.

Tonight was the beginning of the gay pride celebration in Montreal. This is our second pride actually, because we had Divers/Cité two weekends ago, and this weekend with have GLBTA celebrations. The reason why this happened was because the former decided to drop the parade from their celebrations, so the gay businesses launched a campaign with planning to have the parade and other celebrations. I think this was the right thing to do, because I think you cannot have pride without a parade.

Anyway, to start things off this weekend, there was a concert. I went to that with my friends. After the concert, we went to eat at a restaurant in the village. I have not had dinner, so I was hungry, and my other friends had a light snack. After dinner, we were walking along the village towards the metro station, and whom do I see? I see Orion walking with Brian in the village, and Orion had his arm draped over the left shoulder of Brian. I saw those two from a mile away, but I don't know if Orion saw me. Brian probably doesn't know who I am. Anyway, I said hi to Orion, and I made sure that we made eye contact so he knows that I caught him in the act.

I suppose now's the time to lay the cards down on the table. I was originally going to have the status re-evaluation talk with Orion at about six months. However, now's not a bad time. I'm going to lay down my cards on the table. Here's my position: "We did start out as friends with privileges, or dating - but not exclusively". Over the past five months, I've gotten to know Orion and I really like him. I would like to pursue dating exclusively. If Orion did not consider what we had for the past five months as dating (because it takes two people to consider it dating), then I would request that we date exclusively.

Orion is going away for two weeks in Brazil to attend a friend's wedding. So, I think it's fair to give him two weeks to think about the situation, and he can get back to me. Any response other than a "I'm ready to date exclusively" will mean that he's not ready for commitment, and will result in me uplifting my privileges. I'll still be his friend, but there will no longer be privileges. I kind of have a gut feeling that this is what's going to happen, but maybe Orion will surprise me. The words of "Oh, I miss you." somehow sound so empty.

I hope he likes dating Brian... Brian is a medical student who'll be spending as of September 120 hours at a hospital and school. Brian didn't go appliance shopping with him, I did. Brian didn't go to Home Depot with him, I did. In my opinion, I am clearly the better catch. Brian is naturally skinny. I may not look like a skeleton, but I'm a fitness instructor. I am fit. I can dance around the step for 60 minutes and not be out of breath. I just don't look the part, I am the part.

Thank goodness for Carrie Underwood. I have the song Lessons Learned (from her first CD) on loop, and I think it'll be on loop for a while. Here are the lyrics:

There's some things that I regret,

Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

Repeat chorus

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because they are gone,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.

Job search, strike 1

So, on Wednesday, August 13, 2008, I had a job interview with CEGEP de Lionel-Groulx. It was for a part-time job of about 61%. I thought the interview went okay (not great, not terrible), but I did try my best, and considering it was my first interview (I really just went for the experience), I think it went good.

I didn't get the job, but it's not the end of the world. I just don't know what other CEGEP is going to call me... Well, life continues... I just hope that my mother doesn't stress me out even more. Back to square one.

The good thing is that the director of Human Resources wants to talk to me about the areas where I can improve on, which is always good, because it's with comments like these where I will nail that job that I want in a CEGEP that's closer to where I live.

Tidbits of interesting news and thoughts

I stumbled across two interesting articles today. Let me start off with this one:

Olympic child singing star revealed as fake

Well, well, well. So much for being transparent and showing a positive image of China to the world. Oh, the young girl wasn't pretty enough, but her voice was okay, so we'll use her voice, but put a prettier girl on stage. One who's cuter, thinner, and has nicer teeth.

If I were the girl whose voice was used, but my face was not, I would be furious. The girl is seven years old, so she may not know how bad this is (it's like plagarism, I think). But, if I were the girl who just lip-synced, I would be ashamed. Once again, I have to say that I am just a bit ashamed of being Chinese. But hey, since Hong Kong, China was a separate entity from People's Republic of China in the opening ceremonies, I suppose that I could be less ashamed, right?

And now, for this one:

Spelling "truely atrosious," says academic

Just because teenagers are lazy and don't spell properly does not mean that we need to stoop to their level. In fact, if we do, then that would reverse the effects of Darwin. Darwin's a bit behind on his phasing out, I guess, so these idiot teens who are freaking lazy and don't learn how to spell, or click spell check, probably will be wiped off the face of the Earth.

I agree with the article. The rules are in place for a coherent system so that communication is easier. I think a language with fifteen (or more) alternate spellings of the same word would be very confusing. I remember hearing about this in my course at UQAM, but they were talking about this for French. I also don't agree with it, for the same reason as the coherent system.

This is similar to the fact that I am against simplified Chinese characters. It's not because I cannot read them, or the fact that they are not coherent (they are), it's just that Chinese characters stem from drawings in caves. By using simplified Chinese characters, we lose the history behind our characters, which is a rich part of our heritage.

The Dark Knight: IMAX

On Sunday, August 10, 2008, I went to see the movie The Dark Knight, in IMAX. I also spent the evening with my friend Mika, and her European man.

This is the Batman movie after the first one, Batman Begins... It's about Bruce Wayne (played by Christian Bale), who's Batman, and his quest to clean up the city. He's joined by two really high figures: Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) and Gordon (Gary Oldman). Eventually, in steps the Joker, played by Heath Ledger, and the crimes get more and more outrageous, and more and more people get hurt.

This is the first movie where there were entire sequences shot with the IMAX camera in a Hollywood film. Most of the action/chase sequences were shot with the IMAX camera. This movie is totally worth seeing in IMAX, the experience is definitely the best, and it cannot be recreated, at the present moment, at home. Fork out the money and see this movie in IMAX. Don't just settle for regular widescreen. The regular widescreen can be for when you rent/buy the movie on DVD.

The only thing that bugs me about this movie is the voice of Batman... This time around, it's synthesized... It sounds very very bad. But that's the only bad thing. Every thing else was superb!

Rideshead Revisited

On Tuesday August 4, 2008, I went to see the film Rideshead Revisited. It's a film featuring Matthew Goode and Emma Thompson.

This movie is about an aspiring artist in England, who joined the army as the second World War hit. We learn about his life before that time, and see his turmoils and his successes. We learn about the people who take him in, and his stance on religion. He was taken in by a really Catholic family, but since he himself is Atheist, he does not really fit into the family.

The movie was well done, but I didn't really like the story. I suppose it's one of those "nouveau romancier" things, and since I don't really like that style, no matter how well the movie was an adapation to it, I just don't like such writing. The story, as usual with that type of style, was not linear. We started now, and then we jumped back to ten years ago, and then to four years later (from the ten years ago), then back to today, etc. It was quite confusing.

I don't think there was much character for Emma Thompson to chew... She had to play a prim and proper religious saintly woman who was too proud to admit her mistakes... There's really no room for her to shine when she had to look like Queen Elizabeth during the entire movie and all she is required to do is have a stone cold face. In my opinion, her talent was wasted on this character and film.

Although, I have to say Matthew Goode played his role quite well. Perhaps I liked him because he kisses a guy in the movie... He's such a player. Haha.

Wait for this film on DVD, unless you're into this type of movie and you really can't wait for it... It's a great movie, I suppose.

Hellboy II, The Golden Army

On Saturday, August 2, 2008, I went to see the movie Hellboy II, The Golden Army. This is an action/comic book movie based upon the character.

Starts off with a young Hellboy, and it's Christmas Eve. He refuses to go to bed, until a bedtime story was read to him. You realize after the movie is done, that this story may be true, and that it's the story that the entire movie is based on.

I didn't see the first one, so I might have missed a bit of history from the first one, but the second one may have some history where the first one left off... The premise of the story is that there was a truce that was called between goblins, elves and humans. However, the exiled prince of elves came back and is going to wage war on the humans using the Golden Army.

The special effects and imagination that went into the movie was superb. Of course though, this movie was done by the same director of Pan's Labyrinth, so that's to be expected. Oh yeah, the costumes are awesome too.

An enjoyable movie... A lot better than I was expecting it...